Love is in the air!

Not for me of course that would be a miracle,

 I'm talking about Wedding Season!

Just the first one. Randi's Scrapbook Tree!

Confession my obsession

Ya Buddy! So if this isn't clue enough then you apparently don't watch MTV. This past season my obsession was Jersey Shore. I know crazy but I was most definatly addictied to it. I couldn't wait till Thursday night would roll around and I got my self some guido action! And not just because I have a secret love obsessions with all things Italian but I think I was drawn to all the drama I've been lacking in my personal life which I'm not complaining about. I would much rather watch it on TV then have it going on in my own daily life.  I really enjoy how they really do interact with each other just as a family would. Althought I would never smooch with my family. As matter of fact they did enough smooching for me and all that I have been lacking! Who is my fav??? Paulie D! He is so funny and says the most random things that come into his mind which kinda reminds me of me duh! I'm gonna miss my Thursday night guiddos!

Weekly Observance

A funny thing happened on the way to the house! My drive home is not always the most eentertaining. I entertain myself by watching others, I'm presuming, on their way to or from work as well. I'm minding my own business looking around at other people driving when I notice to my utter surprise a very funny thing. This guy in front of me in his truck is digging for gold. I stop and think okay am I really seeing this? It's 5 in the afternoon, the sun is shinning, and your windows are not tinted. Basically nothing is hiding what he is doing. I promise he was going at it for like 3 minutes without stopping. I assume he finally got what he was going after cause the next thing I notice he's rolling down his diver side window flicking and rubbing his gold digging finger out his window. The first thing I do is make sure my window is rolled up. I'm not having any of that in my car! No sir you keep your gold to yourself mister! The funny thing is he wasn't a young kid. I mean he was old enough to know better than to dig for gold in public. The least he could have done was waited until he was on the highway and everyone was to busy to notice what he was doing. All I know is I would have been super embarrassed!

On the same note I was working Saturday and it was after 5 and like always we are waiting for the same 3 people to leave. A family is in the lobby buying drinks from the vending machines. The youngest little girl is standing in the middle of the lobby just going away at her nose. REALLY two in one week. Whats going on? Is someone in the universe telling me I have boogers hanging out of my nose or am I unconsciously picking my nose all the time? Scary! But this little girl topped the cake. She picked her nose then opened her mouth.... NOOOOO! Why are you not watching your kid and telling her not to do that? Do all kids do this? Ugh did I do that? I'm sure I did but I'm sure I got my hand slapped too.

Where for art thou Spring?

I have always stated I am not a winter person but this year I especially can not wait until spring gets here. The past two weeks have been aweful with snow and cold weather. Not only was I teased with almost 80 degree weather two days before the blizzard of 2011 but then the office was closed so cabin fever took over.  Also I don't seem to be very productive during colder weather. All I want to do is put on some super comfy sweats and sweatshirt grab the remote controll for some tv show marathon or a book and snuggle by myself. I say by myself only because I don't have anyone to snuggle with :( maybe 2011 will bring me better luck in the love department.  Anyway, enough with that buisness, hopefully the sun and flowers will be here soon so I can make my annual trip to Tulsa and take beautiful pictures!

Is this what I'm becoming?

Formal Good-Bye

Went to a movie this weekend. The movie started out really funny and now days I find myself laughing more which I really like. I still take things way to seriously but I've excepted that part of myself and honestly I love it. Anyway I diverge! The movie was about a long distance relationship and the good and bad aspects of them. Having been in one I can really relate to the trials perpetrated in the movie.

I never thought I would be in a long distance relationship. I never believed in them and I never thought I would allow myself to go through one. And my worst fears of long distance were true. I know a lot of my issues are with trust. I don't trust and if I allow myself to open up and trust you it really means something. Also, if I allow myself to trust you and you do anything to lose that trust you will never get it again. I know this isn't the way a person should be. Forgive and forget and all that. What I say to that is Bull Shit! That just makes you look like an idiot when you allow the same thing to happen to you over and over and over again! Is this something I need to work on? I don't know. Maybe one day I will be enlightened enough to move past and truly forgive and forget. MAYBE! :)

I did very well in the movie and didn't think too much about the failure of my previous relationship. It has been a year and a half since I have spoken with him and I fell I have grown and moved on from that relationship. But at the same time I couldn't help myself but to think of the things that I went through while watching the movie and I couldn't help but think of him. I couldn't help but to wonder what he was doing and who he was with. But most of all I really just hoped he was happy. The only time in the movie that I really got a little sad was when they decided to call the relationship off. She took him to the airport, sat down, and said, "I thought we had something special," and he said, "We did have something special."

This brought me back to that point in my previous relationship when I knew it was over. When I knew I had lost my first true love. When I finally began to wonder if I would ever feel that way or the same way about someone again.  I finally realized I just wanted to know if he felt the same way too. Did we have something special? Were my feelings real? Will I ever fell that way about someone again?

I know the answer to all these questions is YES. I loved him with all my heart. I know he felt the same way about me that I did for him. I know that one day I will find the true love of my life and it will be so much more amazing then what I ever thought we had. But most importantly I know we had something special and that something special was good and it meant something good!

So this is my formal good-bye to him! I miss him so very much but I know we had something good and I know one day I will find 'the one.'  I know he will always be apart of my heart and apart of my life but only with good memories and life experiences learned. "I thought we had something good?" "We did have something good!"

Thoughtful Thursday