Mind or Body

Yesterday I was taking care of Dorothy. For the most part I enjoy my time there and I usually get tons of personal stuff done while working. For whatever reason (I think due to her medications) she spends most of the time sleeping. I was under the impression this little issue was fixed but not for my time there! The lady who I came in for had not gotten her up to eat breakfast or take her morning pills. Mind you she is to take her evening and morning pills 12 hrs apart. Well Dorothy didn't get any breakfast or morning pills until 12 when I got her up to do all of this which means she will not, or at least she should not get her evening pills until midnight, can we say off the schedule? So Dorothy basically slept from 12:45 till 6 straight thru until I had to wake her up to put a patch on her. It really makes me sad to see her with no energy and just really out of it, let me share a couple of stories.

Story 1
About a year and a half ago Dorothy was doing very well and for the most part her Alzheimer's only kicked in every once in a while, and there were more good days then bad ones. She had spent most of the day relaxing alternately talking to me, napping, and watching TV.  Out of the blue she looks around and thinks she is on an airplane. We spent two hours going thru suit cases, walking around the house trying to find the way off the plane, and trying to stuff a huge blanket into a tiny little suit case. Please don't think I just let her go around acting out and doing all these weird things I tried so hard to get her mind off of this whole airplane thing but it just was not working. Then on our way to the front door the hundredth time she turns around and looks at me and says we're not on an airplane are we? No Dorothy we are not. At this time she thinks she is a nut case and keeps apologizing. She helps me make dinner, get ready for bed, and the rest of the night is fine.

Story 2
We were told to let Dorothy know when she began asking for her family to let her know the ones that were deceased and the ones that were living. Of course she only asked for the deceased ones. For the longest time I refused to tell her her father, husband, and son were all deceased. But she had gotten into a really bad mood and I thought ok today's the day we're going to try this. She asked for her son and I looked at her and told her he passed away several years ago. She didn't believe me but when I showed her the list of family members and their date of death she just looked at me. Tears began streaming down her face and I felt like the biggest douche bag ever. Why did I even try this method? I knew it would not work! Dorothy cried for 4 hours. The saddest thing was the fact that I could not help her with her sorrow. I'm not a mother I have no idea what it would be like to have a child much less having to go to your child's funeral. All I could do was watch her cry, hold her hand, and think I'm such a heartless person because I didn't cry at all. And all she could say was what is wrong with me!? How could I forget that my only son died?

The whole point of this is in regards to the question that was raised Saturday at work, would we rather live with a healthy body and deteriorating mind or deteriorating body but healthy mind.  If I really had a choice I would choose for my body to go before my mind. My family would still have to take care of me but at least I would be able to enjoy the last remaining years with them. I would know who they are and be able to share stories and memories before I go.

I told you so

How many times a day does one think 'I told you so?' Let me tell you the most recent time I wanted to tell someone this.
So towel service!! Yea, I'm so excited. No more running around worrying about if we will have enough for the day or not, no more trying to organize the laundry room every hour to make more room for more towels we can not do anything about. But my dreams were quickly washed away with the perpetual rains that seem to never end.


Monday the towel service came to give us the bags to collect the towels which they will be picking up Tuesdays and Fridays (originally then changed the very next day to Monday and Thursday, I'm already confused). But the biggest concern us the fact that they would be taking towels without bring some in the first day which would then in turn leave us with out towels because we would not be getting some from them and because we are not to be washing towels. Right? I mean that is the whole purpose of the towel service, right? Maybe that's just my thinking. But I don't have a college degree so maybe I'm not smart enough to do simple math. So I asked if we could not order a bunch so we would always have towels in the building even when they come and get the dirty ones. The answer to that was no we will continue to wash towels. So it's ok to waste money on soap, bleach, water, and electricity and pay someone else to do towels. You can save that money and put on my paycheck I'm definitely okay with that.

So Tuesday I'm thinking about the whole towel thing and I bring my concerns to my lovely boss. He says no its alright we will just continue to wash and dry towels and have the towel service to the ones we don't get to. What? Then whats the point of paying them to do towels for us! Ok that's fine. Wednesday the towel service comes out (wait that's not the day they are to come out right, or maybe I'm just even more confused) and brings us towels. Are the towels Dry? NOOOOOOO! I'm not going to ok them dropping them off but my boss does. So before we can put those out what do we have to do DRY THEM. OMG are you kidding me. So he says we are to use all the towels they bring out then wash towels if we have to. Night shift uses all the towels, that's the point of having the towel service, leaving the morning shift without towels. I get a phone call in the morning asking why didn't the night shift do towels. They did, they picked up dirty ones and bagged them. Ya but they didn't wash and dry any so now we only have the ones left over from what the towel people didn't pick up, which is almost non.

OMG is this not what I told him on Monday. I mean I specifically recall illustrating this exact situation to him over the phone. The exact one! The sad thing with him is he only listens to certain people that work there and the rest just have to let him fall on his face for him to get what is going on. But then I'm the one at fault and the one not doing the job! Whatever......


I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Monday

So I'm trying to make this a habit of everyday, I don't know how well this will work but I'm gonna try! I'm a little disappointed in myself. I'm a little lazy and as much as I try to make myself motivated and determined to do something I don't always do it. For example I told myself that I was going to go work out and just because the parking lot was full when I went to the gym I made this glorious excuse in my mind about how I can't go in because all the machines would be taken. Really, cause I couldn't have found something else to do? So tomorrow morning I'm gonna go work out I mean it (I hope:)
Why do people feel the need to talk about others behind their back. Me I'm the type of person if I don't like you I won't talk to you very much and I will not go out of my way to make you apart of my life. So I really don't understand someones desire to make friends and then do nothing but talk about them and loath them. Why are they waisting their time and that persons time. So many hurt feelings and so much unnecessary drama. I absolutly hate drama but it always seems to find me! Oh well nothing I can do but keep my nose clean and be there to listen to my friends.

Trip to Tulsa

So annualy we (the family) take a one day trip to Tulsa. I effing love Tulsa. If I knew I had a job and a place to live I would move there in a day, that would be the fastest packing job anyone has ever seen! Anyway the day started way to early for me and of course it was raining so my hair was an afro ball again.

With my bro living on his own we don't get to talk as much so the ride was pretty much awesome. I got caught up on all his girl drama, by the way armando dump her she aint no good, and it was tons of fun! We are finally getting to that point in our relationship where we are brother and sister, and as much as I didn't think I would like it I honestly really do! It's such a good change for me and it has really helped me come to a place in my life where I can be myself and do my own thing and not worry about him and always trying to take care of everything! I love it. 'Mommy look, I'm finally growing up!'

Typically we go to the Tulsa Zoo but with the rain the past two days we decided not to waste the money on animals that would not be out! We took a little detour to the Thomas Gilcrease Museum. The grounds were beautiful! And I got to bring out my 'soccer mom' camera and take pictures! The azelas were still in bloom which I thought with all the rain they would have turned green and fallen off already but to my wonderful delight they were not! The tulips were still out and they did such a great job mixing and matching the colors. Simply beautiful.

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutly love Tulsa? Well if I forgot I LOVE TULSA!! After we spent hours at the museum we went to an Irish pub/resturant. It was totally awesome on the inside seeing as it is actually from Ireland. I think it would have been a lot better if I drank but it was good. I enjoyed the area and if it would not have been raining I would have walked up and down the block looking at all the stores/shops near by. Very interesting!






And finally one of the most interesting pictures from the day, don't worry Randi this is not my 365 picture I'm waiting to upload those for when we have our blog tutorial :). I saw these shoes in a window just down the block from Kilkennys. They are so funny I just wonder if they really did this on their own or if human hands helped? Oh well they're funny non the less!

 


Tulsa, I'll be back soon, when the sun is shining and I have time to look at all the shops!

Day 1: Training

I spent my whole day in training! Great fun!! Rule number one when I go to any kind of training that was mandatory don't put toys on the table, I will play. The room was big with 5 white tables all with playdoh, chinese yo-yos, and markers ling out. The room was freezing (mental note: take a sweat shirt tomorrow). Rule number two, instructor are you listening (?), don't hover over my shoulder with your little judgmental gestures and thoughts and still expect me to want to participate (remember I didn't want to be here to begin with and this isn't helping). And finally rule number three, don't tell me we are going to lunch at 11:30 but really keep us in training until 1. What are you kidding me!!?

Summary: toys plus over barring instructor plus hunger equals one distracted and grumpy non-learner!

And the best part I get to do it all over again tomorrow!